glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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