I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
