..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize