if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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