Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
