Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
NoShamevember. You game?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
