Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
and she was petting her beer can
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
