Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I love having hate sex.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
