where am i from again
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
