Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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