I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
