An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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