we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
