Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
