Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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