Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
