Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
