Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
