Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
