Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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