dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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