Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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