Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
