Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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