he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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