a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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