So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im six kinds of drunk right now
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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