WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
