I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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