Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
