D3 body, D1 cock
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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