Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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