im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
