Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
