come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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