who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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