I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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