real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
