We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
