you would pick up someone in the library
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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