i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
