I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
