No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Farmville is her only friend.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She's just so happy...and so naked.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
