If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
