Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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