i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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