taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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