in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
