my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
