I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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